


The Boy With The Thorn In His Side

by eyeseathevision



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 90's themes, Alternate Universe - 90's, Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, M/M, Other, Recreational Drug Use, bad boy! johnny, big uwu jungwoo of course, chenle is an angel and they all adore him, haechan just wants to basketball in peace, jeno dresses like a dad, jock! mark, johnny's goon squad is really aggressive tho, just pretend they have good hair, lucas is just happy to be there, nonbinary! jungwoo, punk! jaemin, rival gangs, soft boy winwin, ten is the leader of his own gang called the pretty boys, the two gangs absolutely hate each other, they all have matching pins, they all have really good fashion cause its the 90's, trans! ten, tw for homophobic slurs, tw for parental abuse, tw for violent bullying, yuta is just really horny
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-11 11:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyeseathevision/pseuds/eyeseathevision
Summary: It's your favorite NCT high school!au set in the totally radical 90's: two rival gangs clash frequently, with the aftermath getting worse and worse by the day. Johnny just wants to be accepted by his dad and Ten just wants the Goon Squad to leave his friends alone. All of them are definitely, definitely, definitely totally 100% not gay.





	1. Pretty Boys Make Graves

     Ten was not having a good day.

     Although he woke up in a great mood and found a decent parking spot behind his high school, things quickly went downhill after arriving at his locker. He saw that someone had stuck chewed-up gum all over the handle, and he wouldn’t be able to open the locker without touching it. When he rolled his eyes and went to peel it off, a sharp pain erupted from his outstretched fingers. 

     “Careful over there, pretty boy,” said a voice to his left. A tall boy with dark hair and a chiseled face smirked from where he was leaning against his own locker. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and black leather pants, (seriously, who even wears those in public?), with scuffed-up combat boots and several silver rings, and a cigarette tucked behind his ear. Seo Youngho, who went by Johnny, was a year younger than Ten, but they were in the same year and Johnny had made an effort since primary school to make Ten’s life a living hell. It only got worse after Ten came out as trans his freshman year of high school.

     The younger boy was observing Ten’s bleeding fingers and the glint of the razor blade embedded in the chewing gum with a bored expression on his face. Pushing himself away from his locker, he made sure to bump into Ten’s shoulder as he walked away, a whispered “faggot” just barely audible to the older boy.

     The bell rang for first period, and Ten dashed into the nearest bathroom for a wad of toilet paper before running to his classroom. He arrived out of breath, face red, and took his usual seat next to his friend Jungwoo. Kim Jungwoo, a nonbinary boy with a soft voice that was rarely heard, saw his bloody makeshift bandage and let out a noise of distress. 

     Ten smiled at them reassuringly. “I’m okay, don’t worry.”

     A loud “pop” came from behind Ten, and he jumped in his seat. As the teacher began writing algebra problems on the board, Ten turned around to confront the kid behind him. Nakamota Yuta was one of Johnny’s crew, a lanky muscular boy with an intense stare and an unnerving presence. He was wearing one of his usual cut-off tank tops that exposed his defined arms and chest, a black basketball hat placed low on his head, and was chewing a piece of gum. He grinned at Ten, running his tongue over a silver lip ring, and blew a large bubble. “You want some, Tennie?”

     Ten knew that he wasn’t referring to the gum, and turned back around in his seat without responding. Jungwoo looked at him nervously, but Ten just smiled again. He would tell the group later.

     Several hours later, Ten and his friends sat at their regular lunch table, digging into cold noodles and sandwiches. Chenle and Jeno were talking animatedly about the latest Nintendo game, Winwin was hurriedly scribbling down some answers for a homework assignment he had forgotten, Jungwoo was quietly drinking a carton of strawberry milk, and next to Ten, Haechan was fidgeting with his chopsticks, his food sitting untouched in front of him. Ten nudged him gently. “What’s going on?”

     The younger boy tugged on the sleeves of his flannel, pulling them over his hands. “I have gym after this. Pretty sure Mark’s gonna kick my ass after stealing a shot from him during yesterday’s game.”

     Mark was another one of Johnny’s friends, and he seemed to have a personal vendetta against Haechan. The two boys played on the same basketball team, and while Haechan did his best to simply ignore the other, Mark went out of his way to harass him. They had exchanged blows more than once.

     Ten nodded, patting Haechan’s arm. “Will you be okay? Do you want to skip class?”

     “Nah, I’m not scared of him. Besides, he can’t do anything when the teacher’s watching.”

     They both knew that was a lie: their gym teacher was nearly blind and never paid any attention to what the students were doing. But Ten knew not to argue. He squeezed his friend’s shoulder. “Be safe, but don’t let him push you around. They feed off of that.”


	2. Hand In Glove

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> who else hated high school gym lol

     That’s what Haechan repeated to himself in his head as he fumbled with his jeans in the boy’s changing room. Changing out with the others would be a death sentence, so he always locked himself in the furthest bathroom stall to throw on his gym clothes as fast as possible. As he was taking off his shirt, he heard the locker room door fly open and the familiar sound of Mark’s laugh echo around the room. Almost immediately, the boy ran to Haechan’s stall and jumped up, peering down from the top. Haechan rushed to put on his gym shirt.

     “Why are you in such a rush, Dong?” Mark asked, laughing. “Why don’t you come out here and change with the rest of us?”

     Haechan’s full name was Lee Donghyuck, but after being made fun of for his name as a child, he stuck with his nickname. However, Mark still found it hilarious.

     Haechan finished putting on his shirt and grabbed his things, heading towards his locker with Mark right on his heels. “Watch out everyone, the fag is on the loose! Cover up your privates, he could be peeking!”

     Several of the boys laughed, and Haechan’s face burned in embarrassment. He quickly exited the locker room, the sounds of his classmates laughing at him ringing in his ears.

     By the time the rest of the class made it to the gymnasium, Haechan was feeling more confident. The teacher had told him that it was a free day, so Haechan could easily slip outside and walk around the track without the other boys noticing. As soon as they were free to go, he sneaked out one of the back doors and prayed that Mark or any of his friends hadn’t seen. Two of Mark’s friends, Jisung and Jaemin, were also in the class, and often joined in with the bullying. 

     But none of them were in sight, and Haechan jogged over to the track with a slight skip in his step. The spring air smelled like mowed grass and early morning dew, and the sun felt warm on his tan skin. Stopping just to retie his shoe, he started walking around the track at a leisurely pace. He went at it for twenty minutes, then took a break on a bench. He took off his glasses and soaked in the sun without a single care.

     But of course, good moments don’t last, and the serene atmosphere was broken by a “Hey, loser!” close by. Haechan groaned and opened one eye.

     Mark and his buddies were heading towards him, the other two slightly lagging behind. Jaemin, a tall brown-haired boy who dressed like a punk, had a cigarette hanging from his lips. He raised an eyebrow when Haechan looked at him incredulously.

     “You’re not allowed to smoke on school property.”

     Jaemin took a long, exaggerated drag. “You think I care?”

     Before Haechan could reply, Mark held up his hands. “Cool it, Jae. That’s not why we’re here.” Behind him, the freshman boy Jisung was playing with the string on his gym shorts, looking bored.

     Haechan’s attention went to Mark, who was smiling innocently. “Why are you here then?” He frowned as Mark held a hand to his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. Having come up with an imaginary conclusion, he simply said, “This.”

     Haechan saw the first fist come at him but didn’t expect the second one, Jaemin’s elbow colliding with his side. Even though Jaemin was scrawny, the younger boy’s limbs were sharp and it knocked the breath out of Haechan, long enough for Mark to kick him to the ground. Then as soon as it had started it was over, and Mark and his friends left high five-ing each other. Haechan picked himself up and dusted off his shorts, grateful that they had only given him a light beating. He didn’t want to give Ten more to worry about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would make the chapters longer but /blease/ be patient I am doing my best


	3. Sweet And Tender Hooligan

     Lucas was skipping class again.

     To be fair, he had gone to biology  _ yesterday _ , and didn’t even complain when the professor told him to take his feet off his desk. That was considered a win in his book. But today was long, exhausting, and he just really needed a smoke. After sneaking out one of the many side doors, he parked himself behind the football bleachers where he couldn’t be seen and started rolling a joint on top of the leather jacket he had laid down. 

     He was just about to take the first hit when sounds of muffled whimpering reached his ears. Lucas stood up quickly, ready to flee from the scene if he happened upon two horny teenagers going at it, but when he turned the corner he was surprised to see one of his classmates sitting high up on the bleachers. Alone. Their head was in their lap and they were obviously crying. Even though he couldn’t see the person’s face, Lucas recognized the oversized pink sweater and white worn-out high-tops. 

     “Jungwoo, what’re  _ you _ doing up there? Class started already, you fuckin’ nerd.”

     The boy looked up, clearly startled, but didn’t answer. Their cheeks were flushed and tears leaked down their face. They quickly wiped their eyes with their sleeve. Despite being a part of Johnny’s group, and knowing that Jungwoo was one of Ten’s friends, Lucas couldn’t help but feel a pang of sympathy for his classmate. Call him weak, whatever. He just didn’t like seeing people cry.

     Lucas climbed up the bleachers and sat next to the crying boy, who had gone completely still. Lucas could practically feel the waves of anxious energy radiating from them. He held out the joint that was still in his hand. “Do you want to try some?”

     Jungwoo shook their head.

     Lucas sighed and lit it for himself. “Suit yourself, then.”

     The two boys sat there in silence for several minutes, Jungwoo watching as Lucas blew smoke to the side as to not get it in the other boy’s face. 

     “Don’t talk much, do you, sweetheart?” Lucas asked, a mischievous grin on his face.

     Jungwoo just stared at him blankly. Lucas laughed and nudged them with his shoulder.

     “C’mon, I’ve seen you talk with your friends before. I’m not going to bite.”

     “You’re  _ not _ my friend.”

     Lucas blinked dumbly, realizing that yes, those words had just come out of the boy sitting next to him. “Huh?”

     Jungwoo looked at him steadily. “You’re not my friend. Your friends are mean to my friends. Why should I talk to you?”

     That was the most Lucas had ever heard from the guy, and he knew that their words were true. Johnny, Mark, Yuta, Jisung, and Jaemin were all guilty of being cruel to Jungwoo’s group of friends. Hell, he himself sometimes joined in. Why did he even start talking to Jungwoo anyway?

     A stab of guilt flooded his mind, but he pushed it away. No, it was fine. Those dumb kids deserved it for not respecting them, and Jungwoo was no different. But the fuzziness of his brain was allowing those thoughts to intrude, and he couldn’t shake them off. 

     “I’m sorry.” The words tasted useless on his tongue, but Lucas didn’t know what else to say. It was clear from Jungwoo’s expression that they could tell, but they didn’t argue. Lucas continued hesitantly. “Why were you crying?”

     The boy gave him a curious look and their eyes dropped down to their lap. “It’s nothing important.”

     “Aish, it’s okay, Jungwoo. Let it out.” Lucas stretched his legs out in front of him, a bad sock tan visible on his calves. “I cried the other night when my little brother broke my Playstation.”

     Jungwoo giggled softly, and Lucas smiled. Finally, he was getting somewhere. Jungwoo didn’t need to know that Lucas was an only child and his playstation was in pristine condition.

     Jungwoo’s voice was soft, but they seemed more confident. “I just...that class is always hard for me.”

     Lucas frowned. He admittedly didn’t know much about his classmate, but he knew that Jungwoo was far from failing biology, if their perfect score-exams the teacher showed off to the class was anything to go by. “You do really well in bio though!”

     The other boy smiled a bit, fingers playing with their hair. “It’s not the subject. Mrs. Lee is really ignorant, honestly.” At Lucas’ quizzical face, they continued. “She doesn’t use my pronouns. When I asked her to, she said no, and that I needed to go see a doctor. I’m used to people misgendering me, but sometimes it’s too much.”

     It was something Lucas had never thought about before, but now that he thought about it, he remembered a few instances like that. When Jungwoo wore a summer dress on the first day of school, and the teacher told them to go to the principal’s office for violating the dress code, despite the fact that most of the girls in the class were wearing similar outfits. When the teacher made the class split up into girls and boys and Jungwoo asked to be with the girls, so the teacher sent them out into the hall for the rest of the period. One time, Jungwoo had been inspecting their newly painted nails on top of the desk, and Mrs. Lee had smacked their hand with a metal ruler several times, causing one of them to break.

     Lucas realized that the other boy was waiting for a response, and coughed to break the silence. “Want me to do something about it?”

     Jungwoo’s face fell. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...overshare or anything.” Lucas realized that they thought that his response was sarcastic. “No, no, Jungwoo. I’m serious. Do you want me to mess around with her until she gets her shit together?”

     “I don’t want to cause any trouble,” Jungwoo mumbled. Lucas shook his head.

     “That’s okay, babe. I’m the one who causes trouble, remember?” He laughed as Jungwoo’s cheeks turned pink at the pet name. Lucas stood up and offered a hand to help Jungwoo to their feet. “Don’t take it personally, I call everyone that.”

     Jungwoo laughed softly and took his hand, missing how the other boy’s face was blushing as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> luwoo more like UwU


	4. Handsome Devil

     Winwin just wanted a nap.

     After forgetting about his English homework until thirty minutes before the class started, he had to read an old poem by some ancient white guy in Europe in front of the class. He had protested, but the teacher assured him that his deep voice would be perfect for the role. Only when she told him that it counted as mandatory participation points did he dejectedly agree and perform the offending poem. The intense gaze of Nakamota Yuta stayed on him the whole time, and when Winwin looked up, the other boy was giving him an unabashedly lopsided grin. Winwin avoided his gaze and the class went on, but he could feel Yuta’s eyes on him for the rest of the period. 

     When the bell finally rang, he jumped out of his seat and sped out of the room as fast as he could. He didn’t want to run into Yuta again. If that happened, Yuta would try and talk with him, and then the same thing would happen as it had for several weeks and-

     “Sicheng!” called out an unmistakable sing-song voice. Winwin clenched his jaw at the use of his birth name and kept walking. Maybe if he ignored him, this time it would work. His hopes were dashed almost instantly as a hand grabbed ahold of his backpack and yanked him backwards.

     Yuta held onto Winwin’s bag tightly, now allowing him to move. “Where’re you going, princess?”

     “Get off of me,” muttered Winwin, annoyed. “Let me go, Yuta.”

     He did let go, to Winwin’s surprise, but not before whispering into his ear, “It’d be a shame if you felt sick and had to go to the nurse’s office, wouldn’t it?” With that he bounced away, leaving the other boy with a rush of both adrenaline and weariness.

 

     Any sense of weariness he felt melted away as Yuta pinned him against the wall of the third floor storage closet, kissing him roughly. Yuta was known for being wild (aka just incredibly horny and open about it) but he made sure to never hurt Winwin. However, that didn’t stop him from grabbing the front of his fuzzy sweater and licking into his mouth unabashedly. When he finally pulled away, Winwin tried to speak but choked on his words as Yuta began trailing open-mouthed kisses down his neck. He tapped his fingers on Yuta’s shoulder, and the other boy stopped and took a step back. “You okay?”

     Winwin let out a deep breath. “Yeah. Well, kinda. Don’t you dare leave any hickies on me, you  _ know _ that.”

     Yuta’s eyes twinkled, and he swooped in for a light peck on the corner of Winwin’s mouth. “Yeah? Or what?”

     Winwin pushed him away without any force behind it. “C’mon, I’m serious.”

     The other boy laughed and nodded. “Okay, is that it?”

     The truth was, Winwin didn’t want to say anything else. He wanted to go back to making out with the boy from a rival gang. He wanted to forget about all of the drama and let Yuta kiss him until he forgot his own name. But he couldn’t, not after what he found out had happened that morning.

     “I heard about what you and Johnny did to Ten. That’s crossing the line, Yuta.”

     The other boy’s eyes darkened, and he leaned back against the wall. “You don’t need to worry about stuff like that.”

     Winwin scoffed, the thrill of the moment ebbing away. “Yeah, I do. He’s my friend, and you actually hurt him. Calling him names is one thing, putting razors on his locker is another. He could have seriously hurt himself.” He steeled himself for what he was about to say next. “If you pull anything like that again, I’ll tell Johnny about us.”

     Yuta’s eyes flashed dangerously, and he put his arms on the wall behind Winwin, trapping him there. He was practically seething. “You wouldn’t dare.”

     Although his knees started to shake, Winwin held his ground. “I would.”

     The other boy stared him directly in the eyes. “What if I just beat the living shit out of you instead?”

     Winwin gave him a small smile despite Yuta’s fiery expression. “You know you wouldn’t do that. You think I’m too cute.” With that, he quickly kissed the tip of Yuta’s nose and ducked out from under him, exiting the closet and making his way out the side door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make it 1000% clear, this is not a healthy relationship for hookups lol we stan open communication and genuine kindness in this house


	5. Boy Afraid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall this chapter has a lot of violence/bullying in it so prepare yourself! go into it with an okay mindset because i know that sometimes if im feeling negative and read something negative that just makes me feel worse. take care of yourselves out there <3

     As soon as the final bell rang, Ten leapt from his seat and raced towards his locker. If he was lucky, he’d be able to grab his things, grab his friends, run across the parking lot, and they’d all be in his car before Johnny and his gang could get them. But as he was shoving various notebooks into his backpack, he glanced over his shoulder to see Haechan being shoved into his own locker by Mark and Jaemin. Ten slung his backpack over his shoulder and weaved through the crowd of high schoolers until he reached them. Due to it being so crowded, Ten resorted to body-slamming the two boys away from Haechan. They were only pushed a few feet, but they glared at Ten with daggers in their eyes. “You’re fucking dead, Ten,” Mark growled, before the two of them skulked away. Haechan tumbled clumsily out of his locker. “Thanks, boss.”

     Ten helped him to his feet. “No problem. You okay?”

     The younger boy gave him a funny look. “Yeah, why?”

     Ten sighed, then ruffled the boy’s hair. “They came after you in gym again, huh?”

     Haechan looked down at the ground guiltily. “How could you tell?”

     Ten grabbed the other boy’s backpack from the ground and shut the locker, and began walking down the hallway, Haechan close behind. “Your hands are all scratched up. They pushed you to the ground and you used your hands to break your fall. Right?”

     The constant bullying and physical attacks allowed the older boy to recognize where his friends’ frequent injuries came from. When little Chenle came to school one day with a split lip and told Ten that he had fallen off his bike, Ten asked around until he found out that it was actually Mark and proceeded to corner him during lunch one day and bust his own lip up. Even though Ten sported a vibrant black eye for the following two weeks, it was worth it to land a few punches on the little shit who had hit Ten’s youngest friend.

     And when Jeno was late to meet up with the rest of them after school one afternoon, saying that he had felt sick and needed to use the bathroom, Ten knew from the pain in his eyes that it had been Jaemin who had kicked his stomach so hard he threw up. Sweet Jeno had a secret crush on Jaemin and would never admit it to anyone. But Ten knew, and he muttered an apology before punching Jaemin straight in the face the next day before first period. The younger boy’s nose was broken, and later that day Yuta threatened Ten that he would be “fucking castrated if you touch him again”.

     Still, Ten was protective of his friends no matter what happened to him, and he refused to be intimidated by Johnny’s gang. He and Haechan made it to the back doors and found Jeno, Chenle, Winwin, and Jungwoo waiting for them. 

     “What took you guys so long?” asked Chenle, eyes flicking back and forth between the two. Haechan badly faked a sneeze, so Ten took the lead.

     “I forgot one of my textbooks in a classroom, I’m sorry,” he said brightly. There was no point in worrying the others. He didn’t want their bullies to take up all of their conversations. Looking around in hopes of changing the subject, he gestured to Winwin. “Yah, why’s your sweater on inside out?”

     Winwin looked down in confusion, and Ten swore that his face started to blush. “Ah, I must have messed it up when I was changing after gym. Oh well.”

     Before Ten could remind him that he didn’t have gym class today, a loud screech sounded from the parking lot. Chenle and Jungwoo covered their ears, Jungwoo squeezing their eyes shut as well. Jeno shuddered at the noise. “What the hell is that?”

     Once again, the air was filled with the horrible sound and Ten winced, feeling goosebumps appear all over his arms. Then the realization dawned on him. “Shit, that’s probably my car.”

     Ordering the others to go around to the front of the building, which they protested angrily to, Ten ran across the street and through the parking lot, which was mostly empty. A group of kids were gathered around Ten’s car on the far side. The first one he recognized was Johnny, of course. Johnny had rolled up the sleeves of his t-shirt and was scraping a key alongside the length of Ten’s shitty little car. Next to him, Yuta and Mark were laughing and drinking sodas. They laughed harder when they noticed Ten approaching.

     “We got ourselves a visitor, boss,” called out Yuta, draining the last of his soda and throwing the can at Ten. Ten easily dodged it, ignoring him. “Johnny!”

     The tall boy glanced over, taking a puff from the cigarette in his mouth. “Nice of you to join us, fairy! Heard you interfered with Mark’s business today.”

     “Fuck off, you punk ass bitch,” shot back Ten angrily. Usually he would watch his mouth around the rival gang, but today had pushed him to his breaking point. “Go the fuck home.”

     At this, Johnny lowered his hand and pocketed the key. Yuta and Mark stepped aside as Johnny walked right up to Ten until they were nearly touching noses. At least, that would be the case if Ten wasn’t a foot shorter than the other boy. Thinking about that only made him more furious. “Fuck off,” he repeated forcefully, not breaking eye contact.

     Johnny smiled down at him in amusement, opened his mouth slightly, and let a plume of smoke billow out into Ten’s face. “Make me.”

     Yuta and Mark were practically doubled over in hysterics, but Ten wasn’t paying them any attention. He grabbed a handful of Johnny’s shirt and shoved him against Ten’s car. “Leave. Me. Alone.” He emphasized the last word with a punch to the chest that only seemed to make Ten’s hand hurt. Johnny’s mouth twitched. With the slightest nod of his head, the other two boys each grabbed one of Ten’s arms and threw him the ground before he could even react. They held him down firmly, Mark even kneeling with all of his weight on Ten’s right arm. Johnny loomed above him, the smile gone.

     “Oh, spare me the theatrics, you fuckers,” Ten spit out vehemently. “I know you think you’re so cool for reading The Outsiders last semester but I don’t have the time for th-”

     A swift punch in the face from Yuta stopped Ten mid-sentence as he felt pain blossom over his left cheek. He tried to keep in a groan. Before he could open his mouth again, Johnny kneeled down over Ten until he was literally straddling him. With a flick of his hand Yuta and Mark backed off, and instinctively Ten tried to push himself up. Johnny was much bigger than him though, and even with his arms free Ten could not escape. Johnny slammed Ten’s chest back to the ground, and this time he couldn’t hold back a moan of pain. The tightness of his binder and the pavement scratching against his back was excruciating.

     Johnny shifted forwards so that his knees were pinning Ten’s arms to the ground, then ripped Ten’s shirt open, several buttons flying off and scattering on the tar. He pushed aside the fabric to expose the area right below his collarbone, took another deep inhale from his cigarette, then took it out of his mouth and pressed the burning end to Ten’s chest. Ten cried out in pain as his skin burned away, throwing every curse word he knew in Johnny’s face, but the other boy just dug in the cigarette butt harder until the ember was out. Ten bit his lip so hard to keep himself from crying that he felt blood run down his chin.

     Johnny was watching Ten very carefully, keeping his attention as one of his hands pushed down on Ten’s chest and the other reached into his back pocket and drew out a small pocket knife. Ten’s blood ran cold. They had never gone this far with their bullying. Ten was actually fearing for his life.

     Johnny held the knife teasingly to Ten’s throat, then put it under his chin to bring Ten’s eyes to his. “You were saying?” He lifted the knife to the boy’s face and traced his cheekbone hard enough for tiny beads of blood to appear. Ten gritted his teeth but did not cry out. For a moment, he genuinely thought that Johnny was about to stab him.

     Before anything else could happen, a frenzied blur collided with Johnny and knocked him to the ground, setting Ten free. The older boy sprang to his feet and saw Haechan wrestling Johnny to the ground. Ten grabbed his shoulder. “Leave him, I got it! Make sure the others don’t get in the way!”

     Haechan nodded and let go of Johnny, who struggled to his feet. One of his elbows was scraped and bleeding. His eyes narrowed. “You’re fucking dead, faggot.”

     “Not if I can help it,” Ten grunted, sticking a leg out and hitting the back of Johnny’s knee at an awkward angle. The boy fell to the ground, and Ten didn’t give him a second to recover. The smaller boy sat on his chest and dealt blow after blow, all of the anger he had built up watching his friends get terrorized for months releasing all at once. Johnny’s face was covered in blood and he spluttered, trying to speak but only getting more blood in his mouth. 

     Then another voice rang out. 

     “Yuta, you piece of shit!” Ten recognized Winwin’s deep voice immediately, and stopped punching.

     “Calm down, Sicheng, look, I’m not doing anything!”

     “Don’t call me that! Take your guard dogs and leave or I’ll fucking tell him.”

     “I’m not afraid of you,  _ Sicheng _ .”

     A harsh slap resounded around the parking lot. Ten realized that sweet, gentle Winwin had just hit the wildcard that was Nakamota Yuta. Ten expected to hear the sounds of his friend getting beaten, but that didn’t happen. Instead, after several long moments, Yuta’s voice was cold and icy. “Boss, we’re leaving.”

     Johnny looked over at the other boy in surprise. “Y-Yuta, what the fuck are you-”

     “We have to go, I’m pretty sure this bitch has called the cops on us,” Yuta said stonily. At this, Johnny pushed Ten off of him and stood up, making sure to clip Ten’s head with the toe of his boot. Ten stayed on the ground, chest heaving, until the familiar sound of Johnny’s truck coming to life and screeching out of the parking lot was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> save ten 2k18...i mean 1993


	6. Barbarism Begins At Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and now we get into Johnny's Tragic Backstory

     Neither Johnny, Yuta, or Mark spoke as they drove off school property and down a back road to Mark’s house. Yuta seemed physically fine, save for a red outline of a handprint on the side of his face. Mark was holding the front of his shirt to his bloody nose from where Haechan had punched him. Johnny gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his bruised knuckles turned white. He knew that if he let himself start to think about what had just happened, he would lose control over his vehicle. So they rode in silence, covered in blood, all the way to Mark’s house, where they dropped him off without a word. Then Johnny drove to Yuta’s house a few miles away. 

     “Come in, my parents aren’t home,” Yuta mumbled as he climbed out of the truck. Johnny shook his head. Wordlessly, he pulled out of Yuta’s driveway and left his friend there. 

     By the time Johnny got to his own house, it was taking all of his willpower not to lose his mind. He painfully shouldered his backpack and carefully stepped inside, hoping to make a straight beeline for his room in the basement before his father could-

     “There you are, you fucker,” Johnny’s dad grumbled from the living room couch.  _ Shit. Shit. Fuck. Shit. _

     Johnny ignored his dad, not bothering to take his shoes off. Just as he thought he could pass quietly across the room, his dad spoke again. “What the fuck happened to you?”

     “It’s nothing, dad. I’m fine.”

     The sound of a mug, probably filled with whiskey, slamming on the coffee table made Johnny flinch. “Sit down, boy.”

     Gingerly, Johnny sat down in a chair across from his father. It was silent for a few minutes.

     Finally, he spoke. “Who was it?”

     Johnny raised his head. “Huh?”

     The older man picked up the TV remote and threw it at him, narrowly missing Johnny’s eye. “I said, who was it? Who did that to you?”

     Johnny lowered his gaze. “It was that Thai kid, sir.”

     There was a pause, and then Johnny’s father laughed. Johnny joined in nervously, not sure what to make of what was happening. Then his dad grabbed the mug and aimed for Johnny’s chest, hitting it’s mark hard. Johnny gasped in pain, and the heavy porcelain fell and shattered on the wooden floor.

     “You sick son of a bitch...you let that foreign tranny land a hit on you? A  _ girl _ ?” His dad’s face was full of rage. “You allowed that to happen?” His eyes grew distant. “Perhaps...are you one of them?”

     Johnny shook his head violently as he stood up, trying to sidestep the broken pottery and get to safety. “N-no, Dad, I’m not gay, I s-swear.”

     “I’ve got my eye on you, boy,” the man growled, his eyes throwing daggers at Johnny, who could feel each and every one of them pierce his chest like the mug had. He reached the edge of the room and darted away, flinging himself down the stairs as fast as he could and triple-locking the door behind him.

     Once he was safe in the basement, Johnny went to the small dingy bathroom to clean himself up. Ten had done a good number on him, he realized, as he washed the dried blood from his skin. His whole face was swollen, bruises already forming around his eyes and alongside his jaw. His head spun and he found that he was missing a tooth, a ragged bloody mess left behind where it should have been. Johnny kept rinsing his mouth until the water ran clear, and dabbed some treatment on the most painful spots. When he was finished, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and curled up on his bed, hiding his face in the pillow.

     What had he done?

     He and Yuta and Mark were just doing their usual shit, just messing around with Ten, nothing new. Then Ten had grabbed him. The older, yet shorter, boy had taken ahold of his shirt and shoved him backwards, and for that minute, Johnny was no longer in charge. Johnny felt threatened, and so he motioned for his friends to throw Ten to the ground and hold him still. He only wanted to scare him. Right? Just a few punches and then they’d leave him there and go home and laugh about it.

     But that didn’t happen. As Johnny sat on top of Ten, pinning him down, a thousand different emotions flooded his mind at once. Emotions that had been years in the making, but were only just starting to bubble to the surface.

     Johnny hated the way he had looked down at Ten and wanted to stop. The boy’s heart racing under his hands, the way he gasped for air when Johnny pressed down onto his binded chest. The wetness of his cheeks, flushed red and covered in sweat, the way his hands scrabbled at Johnny’s thighs, looking for something to hold onto as Johnny pushed the lit cigarette deep into Ten’s bare skin. The overwhelmed expression of fear in his dark eyes as Johnny drew out the knife. Johnny watched all of this from above, as if it hadn’t really been him who had done this. Of course he didn’t pull out a knife. He wouldn’t do such a thing. He wouldn’t even think of using that knife against the pretty boy beneath him…

     Johnny barely made it to the toilet before he was dry-heaving, panic flooding his senses. No, no, no. Ten was not pretty. He was a small, ugly boy, no, a  _ girl _ , who was weak and deserved to be hurt. He was,  _ fuck _ ,  _ she _ was gay...gay? And pretended to be a boy. And that was wrong. That was what his dad had told him countless times. And his dad was always right.

     Right?

 

     Johnny’s heart sank as he walked into the school lobby the following Monday and saw the principal waiting for him, arms crossed. She seemed to be struggling to keep her expression composed. “Seo, my office. Now.”

     He dutifully followed her into the front office and towards the back, where her private office was located. Her silence was unnerving as he sat down in front of her desk and avoided her gaze.

     “We have a witness who saw a physical altercation between you and another student last Friday. What do you have to say about that?” Her voice was icy.

     Johnny didn’t say anything. He had spent the whole weekend running through the scene in his mind, trying to make sense of it. He had come up with nothing. There was no point in denying that it had ever happened: half of his face was a nasty shade of blue and green.

     The principal sighed. “Fair enough. Detention for the rest of the year. We’ll be notifying your parents.”

     Johnny lifted his head so fast he nearly gave himself whiplash. “No, please, don’t tell him, please, I-”

     “You should have considered that before attacking another student, Seo.” The principal replied sternly. “And if I find out that you skip a day, or leave early, you’re not graduating this year.”

     Johnny opened his mouth to complain, but had no words. It was a death sentence either way. Once his father found out, he might as well start making arrangements for his own funeral. He dropped his head resignedly. 

     When the final bell rang out, Johnny packed up his things and strolled to the basement of the school where the detention room was. It was a spacious yet empty room with white sterile walls, containing only a few rows of tables and chairs and no windows. This wasn’t Johnny’s first time there, but the frigid cold air still surprised him. He held his jacket closer to him and took a seat in the back of the room. 

     Mr. Kim, a balding older man who barely enforced the rules, was at his desk reading a magazine. He only looked up briefly when Johnny entered the room, then returned to his paper. Johnny laughed to himself.  _ Probably porn _ , he thought.

     There were a handful of other kids in the room, but none that Johnny knew well. A group of second-years who got caught getting high in the girl’s bathroom, a kid who accidentally set fire to a bunsen burner in his chemistry lab, and a senior who had skipped too many classes in a row. Johnny kicked his feet up onto the table and started picking absentmindedly at his cuticles. It was going to be a very, very,  _ very _ long semester.

     The door to the detention room opened and in marched the principal, with a nervous-looking Ten following close behind. She gripped the boy’s shoulder and walked him over to where Johnny was sitting, then pushed him into the chair next to him. Johnny feigned boredom, but his mind raced. What the fuck were they doing? Shouldn’t they be kept apart?

     The principal smiled grimly and swatted Johnny’s legs off the table. “I’ve had enough of your acts. While you both serve detention until graduation, you will be doing your schoolwork together.” Both of the boy’s mouths gaped in shock. 

     “I don’t think that’s a good-” Ten started to say, but the principal interrupted him.

     “No more fighting, no more bullying, or neither of you will graduate. You may only leave once you have both finished your homework for that day. Mr. Kim is well aware of your situation and will not hesitate to alert me if either of you trying anything stupid,” she ordered sternly. “Your punishment begins now.” With that, she spun on her heel and exited the room.

     Johnny’s head was in the clouds. This was just ridiculous. There was no way they would be able to stand being around each other every single afternoon. Part of him wanted to stand up then and there and walk out, even if that meant keeping him back for a year. 

     “Johnny.” Ten’s voice was quiet. The younger boy looked over at him.

     Ten was a sight for sore eyes. Johnny looked over his face and felt an unwelcome stab of guilt. A large purple bruise blossomed from under one of his eyes, and a thin line stood out on his cheek from Johnny’s knife. Eyes dropping lower, Johnny saw the angry red mark of a cigarette burn peeking out from behind one of his overall straps. He swallowed hard.

     “Johnny,” the older boy repeated, and he met Ten’s gaze. There was hurt in his eyes.

     “What?” he managed to croak out.

     Ten nodded towards Johnny’s backpack. “Wanna start with the homework for World History?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that this chapter will want to make you forgive Johnny for his actions but don't let it do that! Feeling sympathy for an abuser, especially one who's being abused himself, is normal, but that does NOT excuse Johnny's actions towards Ten and the others. People can change, and in this story Johnny will, but things like that don't just happen overnight. much love xoxo


	7. I Don't Owe You Anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh im sorry the update took a few days, ive been struggling with depression more than usual lately so /blease/ be patient with me <3 also, if you have any suggestions or ideas for the story, feel free to comment them! i have a rough plan for how things are going to go from here but if there is something in particular that you really want to see, maybe i'll put it in :)

     Ten honestly thought the other boy was going to walk out on him, taking both of their revoked diplomas with him. He also had no desire to be in close proximity with his arch nemesis, but if his ability to graduate was on the line, he would have to put up with it.

     “Johnny,” he said, trying not to sound like he was pleading. Johnny looked at him and Ten suddenly felt very small as the other boy’s eyes scanned over his face, then his chest. He looked almost sad.

     Johnny was by no means any better off. Ten noticed yellowing bruises across his face, along with a slightly fresher-looking one on his chin. Johnny was cradling the side of his face with one hand, and Ten vaguely remembered punching one of his teeth out during their fight. He tried to feel bad, but couldn’t.

     “Johnny,” he repeated more firmly. The other boy met his eyes again. 

     Ten fought to keep himself composed. “Wanna start with the homework for World History?”

     For a moment, there was what looked like the briefest flash of sympathy in Johnny’s face, but then his expression hardened. “Go fuck yourself. Just because we’re stuck here together doesn’t mean you get to talk to me.”

     Ten watched in faint amusement as Mr. Kim, paying attention for once, crumpled up a piece of paper and lobbed it at Johnny, which bounced off the back of his head. Johnny spun around angrily. “C’mon, Kim! You really expect me to put up with this fag?”

     Ten winced at the slur. “Seo, if we don’t do this, then this fag is gonna stop you from graduating. Do you really want that?”

     When Johnny turned back around, he looked pissed and defeated. He ripped open his backpack and took out his history folder, slapping the sheet of paper on the table in front of him. “If I fail this class, you will never see the light of day again, I swear.”

     Ten, for once, did not feel very intimidated.

 

     Despite being forced to spend long hours together after school, by the end of the first week, Ten had only managed to have a single conversation with his rival classmate.

_      “Hey queer, give me the study guide for the test on Monday.” _

_      “Don’t you have your own?” _

_      “I lost it, just give it to me.” _

_      “It’s at home.” _

_      “Fuck you, Ten.” _

     The silence was better than the constant harassment, Ten reminded himself. All week, he and his friends were able to walk around the school without being physically or verbally assaulted. Granted, some of them were being more distant than usual. He had only seen Winwin twice in those five days, and only for a few minutes. He had no idea where the other boy was most of the time. Jungwoo also was rarely seen, save for their shared math class every morning. But as far as he knew, Johnny and his friends were leaving them alone, and Ten was grateful for the unexpected ceasefire.

     Ten went home for the weekend feeling relaxed, like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. Which was actually the case, really. He could spend the next two days studying for his history test, and even better, wouldn’t have to see Johnny. He could cry from happiness.

     So on Sunday afternoon, when Ten’s mom knocked at his bedroom door with an important message, it took all of Ten’s willpower not to scream.

     “Honey, there’s a friend of yours on the phone! Says his name’s Johnny.”

     Ten bolted upright from where he had been laying in bed. “Tell him to fuck off!”

     His mother came into the room, holding the house phone away from her mouth. “What do you mean? He says it’s important and it determines your final grades. What is that all about?”

     Ten cursed inwardly. He refused to tell his mom what had happened the week before. She knew that some of his classmates picked on him, but that was the extent. Luckily, the school had not called to tell her about Ten’s daily punishment after school, and he planned on keeping it that way.

     “It’s nothing, just a school project. Give me the phone.”

     His mother looked suspicious, but handed him the phone and left. Ten got up and closed the door behind her, then spoke into the receiver.

     “What the  _ fuck _ do you want, Seo?”

     The phone crackled, and Johnny’s voice almost sounded desperate. “I’m gonna fucking fail this test, Ten. You have to help me.”

     Ten rolled his eyes. Of course. “Can’t you just get the study guide from somebody else?”

     Johnny laughed dryly. “No one will give it to me.”

     Ten couldn’t help but smile to himself. The asshole deserved it, he should just hang up the phone and let Johnny fail. But then he remembered their situation.

     “Please, Ten,” Johnny pleaded. “I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to pass this class.”

     Ten would rather give himself top surgery without anesthetic than help his enemy, but he had no choice. “Should I come over?”

     “No!” Johnny barked, sounding...scared? Ten couldn’t quite place it. “I can come over to yours. If that’s okay.”

     Ten looked around his room at the messy piles of discarded clothes and books, scattered bottles of nail polish, and a fleet of dirty cups at his desk. “Give me fifteen minutes.”

 

     Johnny ended up staying at Ten’s house for a few hours, saying “I can actually focus here” when Ten asked. He wasn’t trying to be rude, but the fact was he did not feel comfortable with Johnny around. The other boy seemed to pick up on this, and stayed on the opposite side of his bedroom while they were studying, occasionally double-checking answers with each other. It was almost 8pm when Johnny finally closed his textbook with a loud sigh. Ten looked up from his notebook.

     “I guess I should go now.”

     “Yeah.”

     “Thanks for letting me stay here.”

     “Mhm.”

     And then Johnny left, Ten turning back to the study guide in front of him. He wasn’t able to focus until the rumble of Johnny’s truck faded into the night.


	8. Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mark gets #wasted whats good

     The night breeze was cool and threaded its way through Mark’s hair as he trudged up the steps to his teammate’s house. It had been a week since the fight with Ten, and Johnny had ordered all of them to leave Ten and his friends alone for a bit. Mark found this exceptionally difficult due to Haechan being on the same basketball team as he was, but he managed to resort to only glaring from far away. The other boy never paid him any attention.

     This rivalry had strained the relationship of the entire basketball team since Haechan made the team, but they were able to play somewhat normally once everyone realized they should just keep the two boys separate at all costs. Mark knew not to cause too much of a scene during practice, so he saved most of the tormenting for afterwards in the locker room. However, even that was forbidden now. Without the added tension, everyone seemed to be more focused and they had won their most recent game by a landslide. To celebrate, they were having a party at the team captain, Jaehyun’s, place.

     When Mark entered the house, he was greeted with the overwhelming smell of pot and the sound of a song he recognized from the radio blasting from the living room. Many of his teammates had brought other friends along, so the place was crowded and stuffy. Mark shrugged off his hoodie and quickly found Jaemin, who he had invited last minute. Jaemin stood out against most of the jock crowd, wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans, circular glasses that were definitely not prescription, and several long dangly earrings. The younger boy was smoking two joints at the same time, and when Mark sat down next to him, he offered one to Mark with a wide grin. “Heyyy, bro. Wassup?”

     Mark took it and inhaled deeply. “What the hell are you wearing?”

     Jaemin laughed, tossing his head back, which caused his earrings to chime as they swung into each other. “I don’t know man, I thought it looked cool.”

     Once he had finished the joint, Mark got up in search of alcohol. Nearly everyone else in the room was wasted and that’s how he wanted to be. As he made his way to the kitchen, a familiar high voice caught his attention.

     “I know, I usually don’t come to these but I was in the mood to today! And I brought Jeno with me cause he was bored.”

     Mark whipped his head around until he saw Haechan, speaking to his teammate Doyoung with an air of confidence. Behind him, Jeno was taking small sips from a Solo cup, a hand resting in one of the back pockets of his cut-off shorts. Unconsciously transfixed, Mark watched as Haechan stretched his arms above his head, the baby blue crop top he was wearing rising up and exposing his tan belly. Mark clenched his jaw and looked for the nearest bottle of alcohol. He needed something to distract him from the frustration of not being able to fuck around with his usual target.

 

     The problem with being a lightweight, Mark remembered, was that he could never remember what his limit was. Absentmindedly, he took another swig of the fruity-smelling drink in his hand. It had no taste. 

     At some point he remembered seeing Jaemin and Jeno talking to each other across the room. For some reason, Jaemin looked nervous, fidgeting with his earrings, while Jeno was talking intently. Then he got distracted by Jaehyun offering him more alcohol, and promptly forgot about it. Now, neither of them were to be seen, and the party continued around him.

     “Mark, get your ass over here!” His friend Taeyong called from the kitchen. Mark struggled to his feet, watching the floor sway beneath him. Was someone going to do something about that? He entered the kitchen to find a game of beer pong already starting on Jaehyun’s kitchen table. Jaehyun and Doyoung were competing against each other while the rest of the boys crowded around the table, yelling out encouragement as well as insults. Mark stumbled his way to Taeyong, who was egging Jaehyun on as the other boy downed a cup in one go.

     “Woah there, champ,” Taeyong said, grabbing ahold of Mark’s arm when he tripped over nothing and almost fell over. “I think you’ve had enough for tonight.”

     Mark laughed loudly, and shouted so his voice could be heard over the others. “I’dunno what you’re talking ‘bout, hyung,” he slurred. “S’fine.” Mark’s eyes crossed and suddenly there were two Taeyongs in front of him, looking concerned. “Are you sure?” they said in unison.

     Of course he was sure. Mark could handle himself just the same as the other guys, everyone knew that. To prove that, he swiped a random cup from the counter and gulped it down in seconds, ignoring Taeyong’s pointed glare. Mark realized it was straight vodka only after he had finished it, and his stomach flipped. “M’gonna get some, some, some...fresh air,” he managed to get out before racing to front door, the colors and lights and sounds around him making him feel nauseous. He barely had time to throw himself down the front steps before he was retching into the bushes lining Jaehyun’s porch. His upset stomach didn’t let up for a few minutes, and Mark’s throat felt scratched and raw. He coughed violently, the spasms shaking his whole body, until he collapsed on the ground.

     “You fucking dumbass,” muttered a voice above him, and Mark looked out the corner of his eye to see none other than Haechan kneeling next to him. He was about to make some malicious remark when he remembered about Johnny’s new rule, and closed his mouth. The brown-haired boy pushed Mark’s body until he was laying on his side. “I still hate you, but I don’t want to watch you choke on your own vomit.”

     The streetlight nearby shone faintly on the boy, painting half of his face in an orange glow. His expression was guarded, yet his eyes were kind. For the life of him, Mark couldn’t remember why he even hated Haechan in the first place. He tried to rack his brain, but came up with nothing, screwing his eyes shut when his vision started to go dark. Haechan was shaking his shoulder and yelling into his ear, but Mark couldn’t make out he was saying.

     The next thing he knew, Mark was laying sprawled in the back of an unfamiliar car. He groaned and pushed himself up, his gaze moving from the array of fast food wrappers and empty water bottles on the floor to the boy who was driving the car. A Smith’s song played softly from the car radio, and Haechan was singing along quietly.

     “Mmf, what happened?” Mark rasped out, his voice so hoarse it was barely audible.

     Haechan glanced into the rearview mirror briefly before returning his attention to the road in front of him. “You passed out, dude. No one else was sober so I’m taking you home.”

     Mark shook his head, confused. “I don’t...what do you…” He suddenly remembered the guest Haechan had brought along with him. “What ‘bout Jeno?”

     Haechan shook his own head. “I dunno. Jaemin wanted to talk to him, he said he would find his own ride back.” The car pulled into a gravel driveway. “We’re here.”

     With Haechan’s help, Mark staggered out of the backseat. As he was just about to tell him that he’d be fine and didn’t need any help, Mark felt his knees buckle. Haechan caught him awkwardly and threw Mark’s arm over his shoulder, holding tight onto his waist with the other. Together, they hobbled to the front door.

     Haechan paused. “Are your parents home?”

     Mark concentrated on trying to keep his head from lolling around his shoulders. “S’cool, they don’t give a shit.”

     The other boy nodded and opened the door. Mark was surprised to see that his parents were still up, their eyes glued to the TV. Haechan gave them a little wave, but they didn’t look over, Mark’s father only calling out a “Rough night again, huh?”. Mark was relieved when Haechan didn’t respond.

     The two boys reached the stairs, and despite Mark’s weak protests, Haechan hefted the older boy onto his back for the ascent, wrapping Mark’s arms around his neck. Mark could barely see straight, and he felt Haechan dump him onto his bed with an unceremonious thump. Mark assumed the other boy would leave immediately and they would never discuss the night’s events, which he was more than happy to do, so he was shocked when he felt tugging at his feet as Haechan untied and took off his shoes. Mark heard footsteps padding down the hallway, and several moments later Haechan reappeared with a glass of water and a bottle of tylenol. He heard the boy placing them on the nightstand, and tried to thank him, but his mouth felt like it was full of cotton. The room grew darker and darker and Mark melted into the mattress beneath him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaoo ive had this written for awhile but i was thinking of what to put between the last chapter and this one but i got writers block so im just going with this...pls chime in with ur opinions with how the story should go because it could go anywhere at this point!!!!
> 
> like...i have a few options here. i could keep going with a realistic storyline and maybe focus more on the relationship between ten and johnny, and johnny's dad, which would probably make the story end sooner than later. or i could add in a new dramatic twist and keep it going for longer...or i could totally flip the script and add in some horror aspect to intensify everything and keep it going for a long time. im itching to write a horror story but i could also wait to do that for a different story. give me ur thots


	9. What Difference Does It Make?

     “I have to pee, will you be okay out here?” Haechan’s voice was only half-teasing, but Jeno laughed and playfully elbowed his friend. “I think I got things under control. Go piss.”

     The other boy laughed back and bounded away in search of the bathroom. Jeno stood in place for a few minutes, feeling incredibly awkward with his empty solo cup. He didn’t know most of the guys around him, and he was terrible at starting conversations. Maybe he shouldn’t have worn the brightly-colored hawaiian shirt with the shortest shorts he owned. 

     He was about to go look for his friend when he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. When Jeno turned and saw who it was, he had to do a double-take.

     Despite the relentless bullying, Jeno thought that Jaemin was the cutest boy he had ever seen, and tonight was no different. The other boy was wearing all black, per usual, but with a pair of circular glasses and several long earrings, and Jeno wanted nothing more than to compliment the new look.

     “W-what do you want?” he said instead, trying and failing to cover up his surprised tone. Jaemin gave him a nervous smile.

     “Can we...talk?” Jaemin asked slowly, as if choosing his words carefully. Jeno noticed that his eyes were bloodshot red and slightly out of focus, and concluded that Jaemin was high off of his mind and probably drunk, and hopefully not a danger to him.

     He nodded. “I guess so.”

     Jaemin took one of Jeno’s hands and led him down the hall. Jeno caught Haechan’s attention as he walked away, mouthing a “I’m okay” when the other boy saw who he was with. They stopped in front of a bedroom away from the crowd. Jaemin  leaned back against the wall and Jeno followed his lead on the opposite side of the hallway. He had never been so close to the other boy without being attacked, so his muscles were tense and ready to spring into action if need be. However, Jaemin stood quietly and toyed with one of his earrings, looking everywhere but Jeno. Finally, he spoke.

     “I really fucked up, didn’t I.” It was more of a statement than a question. Jeno frowned.

     “If you’re going to hit me, just get it over with.”

     The smaller boy looked up at Jeno then, and he was shocked to find tears pooling in Jaemin’s eyes. The other boy bit his lip.

     “I didn’t want to hurt you,” he whispered.

     Jeno rolled his eyes. Being drunk himself, he didn’t feel as scared as he usually did around Jaemin and didn’t think about what he was saying. “It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think, asshole?”

     Jaemin’s hands clawed at the collar of his own t-shirt, stretching the fabric as if it was hard for him to breathe. “I just….I….we all got carried away. I don’t….I’dunno how things got to this point.” Jaemin was taking deep, gulping breaths, his words slurring together. “Jeno, y’don’t understand, I-”

     Jeno had had enough. “No, Jaemin,  _ you _ don’t understand. If you’re suddenly feeling bad for all the shit you’ve done, I don’t want to hear it.” His whole frame was shaking in anger. “You can’t just expect me to forgive you and move on. It doesn’t work like that.” Jeno turned to walk away but Jaemin’s hand latched onto his wrist, pulling him back.

     “Please, please, Jeno, I just want- ”

     Jeno tried to shrug the boy off of him, but his grip was too tight. “Get your hands off of me before I hit you.” He needed to get out of there, fast. However, any working part of his brain shut down as Jaemin leaned forward and kissed him.

     Jeno was frozen in shock, not processing what was happening. Jaemin’s lips were on his, messily trying to kiss into his mouth, and Jeno felt the boy’s tears falling down his own cheeks. It was too much. He snapped his head back and shoved the other boy away from him. “What the fuck, Jaemin?”

     Jaemin was sobbing at this point, covering his mouth with his hands. “Jeno, I don’t- ”

     “No. You’re drunk, you’re fucking crazy, and I’m leaving.” Jeno stormed down the hallway, his brain going at several thousand miles per hour. He passed by the kitchen and was about to ask Doyoung for a ride, but saw that the older boy was immersed in a game of beer pong and decided to just walk home. He didn’t live too far away and the conversation with Jaemin had sobered him up enough to walk straight. He left out the back door, the brisk night air cooling his cheeks.

_      What the fuck had just happened? _

     Jeno put a hand to his lips. That stupid, horrible, good-for-nothing jackass had really tried to kiss him. 

     He felt the rain start then, at first just a few sprinkles and then turning into a ferocious downpour that soaked right through Jeno’s clothes in seconds. In front of him was the overhead of a convenience store, and Jeno ran to take shelter underneath. Water dripped from his hair into his eyes, and he brushed it back out of his face. His reflection in the store window looked scared. A weird, heavy feeling sat on his chest and refused to budge.

     Jeno huddled outside of the convenience store for about twenty minutes, absentmindedly picking at his cuticles until the rain eased up. He walked the rest of the way home and was relieved to see that his family was fast asleep. He snuck upstairs to his bedroom and gratefully collapsed onto his bed, passing out instantly.

     The next morning, he called Ten’s house and asked if they could go out for coffee to talk. He felt bad for having clearly woken up his friend, but he was desperate to tell someone what happened, and he figured Ten would be the best person for that.

     Ten picked him up and they drove to a small coffee shop in town, where Ten ordered an iced coffee for himself and an iced green tea for Jeno. He returned to their booth a few minutes later with their drinks, and slid Jeno’s across the table.

     Being two years younger, Jeno had always seen Ten as a sort of older brother to him. Ten was far more mature and wise than their other friends, and seemed happy to take on the leadership role. However, he was never condescending or controlling, and Jeno felt like he could safely tell him anything that he was going through. Jeno considered all of this while staring deep into his iced tea.

     Ten took a noisy sip from his own drink, then burped. “What’s on your mind, kid?”

     So much for Ten being mature.

     “I went to a party with Haechan last night and….some stuff happened.”

     Ten looked surprised. “I never hear you talk about parties. Have you ever been to one?”

     “No,” Jeno admitted, cringing at how lame he probably sounded. “Haechan kept asking me to come with him, so I said yes.”

     Ten nodded, showing that he was listening. “Alright. Was there alcohol being served?”

     “Yeah.”

     “Did you drink any?”

     “A little bit.”

     “Did you drink responsibly?”

     “ _ Ten _ .”

     “Sorry, sorry,” the older boy laughed. “I’ll stop babying you. So what happened?”

     Jeno took a deep breath. “Well, Jaemin and I talked for a bit.”

     The other boy’s eyes widened. “Really?”

     Jeno nodded, choosing his next words carefully. “We didn’t really talk, exactly. More like he tried to explain why he treats me like dirt, and then I told him that he was full of shit. And….”

     Ten’s expression was unreadable. “And what?”

     Jeno avoided Ten’s gaze. “He tried to kiss me.”

     His friend’s mouth dropped open, gaping comically. “He  _ what _ ?”

     Jeno couldn’t help but giggle at Ten’s face. “Yeah, man. I don’t know. He kissed me and he was crying and I was so confused and then I realized what was happening so I pushed him away and then I left.”

     “How did you….feel about it?” Ten asked.

     Jeno shook his head. “Very, very conflicted. I….I’ve had a crush on him for a long time. But he hates me. So I don’t know where that came from. He was really crossfaded so it could’ve just been him being stupid. I really don’t know.”

     Ten looked at him sympathetically. “I know, Jeno. I could tell. That you liked him.”

     Jeno looked up in panic. “Wait, what? Was I obvious? Do the others know?”

     Ten held up his hands to stop him. “No, no, don’t worry. It’s just me, as far as I know. I could just tell. I don’t think the others have caught on.” He took a long sip. 

     Jeno looked down at his lap. “I don’t know what to do, Ten. Or how to feel.”

     “Hey.” Ten held out his hand and motioned for Jeno to take it. He did, Ten’s thumb lightly brushing across his knuckles. “It must feel really confusing, and I’m sorry. But you have to know that it was a dick move of him, even if he was genuinely trying to apologize, even if he was crying. You can’t just do that to someone, and he has to realize that. I can’t tell you what to do next, but know that I’m here for you however I can be.” Ten smiled at him. “And tell Haechan that I’m tagging along to his next party invite, stuff always happens when I’m  _ not  _ there.”

     Jeno laughed. “Will do. Thank you, Ten, really. I appreciate having someone to listen to me.”

     Ten squeezed his hand. “No problem, kid. Are you going to finish that tea?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!! im sorry for going MIA for a bit, ive been working on another fic lmao but im back!! (aka i felt guilty for just leaving yall with this and i wanted to finish this before the other fic) i decided to scrap the horror idea and use it for the other fic im working on (it focuses on nct dream and if ur interested in that let me know and maybe ill post a few chapters soon!!) but im gonna continue with this one so i hope ur enjoying it so far and let me know if theres anything in particular u want to happen regarding ships/friendships/the general plot lmao love yall


	10. Bigmouth Strikes Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was soooooo much fun to write i hope yall enjoy it :') tw for homophobic and transphobic slurs!!
> 
> also, im a dumbass and i shouldve written this before the past couple chapters, but just to make it clear, this is the monday following the friday afternoon that ten got beat up by johnny!! ill get the hang of this writing thing eventually i swear

     Jungwoo thought that after their embarrassing conversation with Lucas on the bleachers, they would continue to ignore each other and pretend it had never happened. When it came time for biology on Monday afternoon, Jungwoo was busy cleaning up their locker, which had been vandalized with toilet paper sometime between lunch and then. This wasn’t an unordinary occurrence, but as they checked their watch, they wished the bullies had picked a different time to make the mess. Jungwoo almost considered skipping class again, but they knew that would only make things worse. They quickly shouldered their backpack, gathered up their notebooks, and ran up the stairs to their classroom.

     When they pushed open the classroom door with their elbow, Mrs. Lee stopped from where she was lecturing in front of the blackboard and looked at Jungwoo disapprovingly. “Nice of you to join us, Mr. Kim.”

     Jungwoo’s eye twitched at the wrong honorific, but their attention was grabbed by something else. Lucas was actually in class, and he appeared to have gotten there  _ on time _ . That was a definite new one.

     Jungwoo took their usual seat in the front corner and tried to quietly take out their school supplies. Instead of continuing the lesson, Mrs. Lee walked over to Jungwoo’s table. Her expression was cold. “Young man, what do you think you’re doing?”

     Jungwoo looked up at her nervously. “Pardon?”

     “It seems as though you have the wrong classroom,” she said, leaning forward over his desk. “The theater room is down on the ground floor, by the cafeteria. I didn’t know they were accepting roles for crossdressers this spring.”

     As several kids in the back started laughing, she gestured at Jungwoo’s attire. They were wearing a cropped Salt-N-Pepa shirt with a long black skirt, fishnet tights, and clunky black boots. “I will not tolerate this in my classroom, Kim Jungwoo. I have been patient and generous to you so far, but I cannot allow this to continue. Just because a queer is the top student in my class does not mean you can get away with these shenanigans.”

     The class had burst into laughter at this point.

     “Mr. Kim, you are a  _ boy _ . A  _ man _ . You need to start looking like one.”

     Jungwoo’s face was burning. They were sure it was bright red. However, they didn’t hide it. They didn’t cry. They refused to. They didn’t want to give Mrs. Lee or their classmates the satisfaction.

     Before they could open their mouth to say anything, not that they knew what to say, a different voice piped up from across the room. “Mrs. Lee, you are one son of a bitch.”

     Jungwoo whipped around in shock. Lucas pushed his chair back from his desk with a loud screech and stood up. His face was livid. “How could you say such things to a student who’s only done amazing things in this class? Better than the rest of us fuckers combined?”

     Mrs. Lee’s mouth hung open in bewilderment. Lucas continued, kicking in his chair. “Honestly, all of us are to blame here. Including me. We have all done our fair share of making this place an unsafe environment for some of our classmates. Including me. But you, Mrs. Lee, are the absolute worst. I used to play along with this shit, but not anymore.”

     Lucas looked Jungwoo in the eyes. His gaze was piercing. Jungwoo was grateful that they were not on the receiving end of Lucas’ wrath.

     “Jungwoo, I’m sorry for turning the other way and letting people treat you like this. You deserve to have a safe, encouraging education. We’ve been getting in the way of it.”

     A boy from the back scoffed and called out, “Dude, the fuck are you doing? You’re the only one who cares about that fairy.”

     A girl chimed in. “Yeah, aren’t you part of the Goon Squad anyway? Isn't being a dick your whole gig?

     Meanwhile, Mrs. Lee’s eyes were nearly bulging out of their sockets. “Mr. Wong, how dare you speak to a superi- ”

     To everyone’s surprise, Lucas cut her off mid-sentence. “Mrs. Lee, listen to me. Listen to me very carefully. If you don’t apologize to Jungwoo right now and swear to never insult them like this again, I will let the entire staff and faculty know that you’re screwing the vice principal for extra sick days. How would you husband feel about that, huh? Or your two kids?”

     The room was dead silent. Mrs. Lee looked like a dumb-stricken goldfish.

     When the boy sitting in the back who spoke earlier snickered, Lucas turned to him. “And Connor, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I will tell Mr. Woo that you cheated on your statistics final last semester. You needed that grade to get accepted to university, right?”

     The boy’s face paled and he clenched his jaw. “You wouldn’t dare.”

     “I would,” Lucas spat out. “Yoonjin, if you don’t stop flicking gum into Jungwoo’s hair, I will tell your friends about how you ratted them out to the cops when you got caught drinking at April’s house party last month.”

     The girl behind Jungwoo gasped, and her friend next to her turned to her in rage. “Yoonjin, what the hell?!”

     “Listen up, you fuckers,” Lucas addressed the entire classroom. “I have dirt on each and every single one of you and I am not afraid to use it. If you so much as  _ breathe _ a word of this incident to someone outside of this room, or if you even  _ think _ about harming Jungwoo, or saying anything hurtful about them, you will have to go through me. I will destroy not only your reputation here, but your future too. Do I make myself fucking clear?”

     Jungwoo did their best to hide a grin as Lucas’ words echoed around a silent room. The rest of their classmates looked stunned. Mrs. Lee looked like she might faint. Finally, she collected herself enough to step over to her desk, where she sat down heavily. When she spoke, her voice shook. “Class is dismissed for today. You may all leave.”

     Jungwoo couldn’t believe it. They packed their things back up and looked around for Lucas. They caught a glimpse of the boy swiftly exiting the room, not looking behind him, and Jungwoo spotted a red notebook where Lucas had been sitting. They skirted around their classmates, who were giving them a wide barrier, and took the notebook with them.

     They spotted Lucas, who had dashed down the stairs and out one of the side doors. He was walking towards the bleachers. Jungwoo jogged to catch up to him.

     “Lucas!”

     The boy turned around and smiled weakly. “Hey, Jungwoo.”

     Jungwoo fell into step beside him as they made their way down to the field. Neither of them spoke until they had climbed to the top of the bleachers and sat down.

     Jungwoo looked over and saw that Lucas’ knees were shaking. They looked up at him in surprise. “Lucas, are you okay?”

     Lucas waved a hand at them. “Don’t worry about it. I should be asking you that.”

     They looked at each other for a few moments before they both burst into uncontrollable laughter. Jungwoo clutched their aching stomach in pain, while Lucas had thrown back his head in an ear-splitting cackle. They stayed like that for several minutes, Jungwoo laughing so hard that no noise was coming out, and Lucas literally laughing so hard he was crying. Eventually, they were able to collect themselves, albeit Lucas’ shoulders were still shaking.

     “Holy shit,” he wheezed out, wiping his face. “That was so fucking wild.”

     Jungwoo leaned back against the bleacher, trying to steady their breathing. “Yeah, fucking wild.”

     Lucas cleared his throat. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you back there. I kinda just started talking and I wasn’t thinking about how you would feel about it.”

     Jungwoo shook their head, feeling their chest swell a little bit. “No, it wasn’t embarrassing. I just can’t believe you actually did that.”

     “Me neither,” Lucas admitted, grinning sheepishly at them. “You probably couldn’t tell, but I was quaking the whole time.”

     “No way.”

     “Yeah way. I know I don’t look the type, but I get nervous speaking to big groups like that. Nevermind the fact that I was basically threatening them.”

     Jungwoo furrowed their brow. “Was all of the stuff you said about them true?”

     Lucas laughed and nodded. “100%. There are some benefits to being friends with the bad kids.” He raked a hand through his long brown hair. “By the way, I really dig your outfit today.”

     Jungwoo felt their face heat up, and hid it behind their hands, which made Lucas laugh again. “I’m serious! It’s totally avant garde, but also punk, but also chic. I don’t think anyone else could pull that off.”

     Jungwoo peeked through their fingers. “You really think so?”

     Lucas nodded firmly. “Absolutely. You know what? You would look  _ so _ good with dyed hair.”

     Jungwoo thought about it. “I guess I’ve never considered it, but that might look cool. I don’t know what color I would do though.”

     Lucas reached over and ruffled a hand through Jungwoo’s black locks. “I think a silvery grey would look super rad.” He cocked an eyebrow at Jungwoo. “You know, I could dye it for you if you wanted.”

     “Would you really do that for me?” Jungwoo could barely contain their excitement. “That would be so neat!”

     Lucas squealed, actually  _ squealed _ . He coughed to unsuccessfully try to cover it up. “Yeah, definitely! There is one thing I want in return though.” He smirked at Jungwoo, who was willing their heart to stop racing.

     “W-what’s that?”

     Lucas outstretched his hands towards Jungwoo. “Would you paint my nails?”


	11. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for suicidal thoughts and referenced/past self harm near the end!

     Jaemin woke up the next morning with a headache so severe that he couldn’t open his eyes. He groaned and felt around, trying to figure out where he was. He definitely wasn’t in his own bed.

     He heard a door open, and soft footsteps padded towards him. The blinding light searing his eyelids dimmed as whoever it was closed the curtains. Jaemin groggily opened his eyes. It felt like prying open metal that had been welded together. 

     Yuta was perched on the edge of the couch that Jaemin was curled up on, wearing a tight long-sleeved black shirt and red plaid boxers. “Good morning, sunshine,” he said in a gravelly voice.

     Despite Nakamoto Yuta’s scary demeanor and frequent threats of castration, Jaemin knew that deep down he was fiercely protective of the younger kids in their group - himself and Jisung. There were a few times when Jaemin probably would have gotten alcohol poisoning if it hadn’t been for Yuta keeping an eye on him.

     Jaemin propped himself up on the pillow behind him and Yuta handed him a glass of water, which he took gratefully. He drank it in three large gulps.

     “How’re you feeling, champ?” Yuta asked, taking back the empty cup.

     Even just thinking of a response hurt. Jaemin winced. “Like I’ve been bulldozed by a mammoth. Everything hurts.”

     Yuta nodded knowingly. “Makes sense, you got really fucked up last night. Do you remember anything?”

     Did he? Jaemin wracked his brain. He got smoked out by Jaehyun, some boy that Mark knew. Weren’t they at his house? And then Mark was there, but then he was gone. Then he spotted Je-

     “Fuck,” he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

     “Hey, what’s up, kid?” Yuta sounded worried. “You going to puke?”

     Jaemin shook his head, then realized that yes he actually was going to throw up, and jumped off the couch and raced towards the bathroom in Yuta’s apartment. He barely made it in time.

     He heard Yuta run over and felt a pair of hands holding back his hair from his face. After retching for another minute or so, Jaemin leaned away from the toilet. Yuta knelt down beside him.

     “Hey, it’s okay kid. Get it all out. I got you.” Yuta started rubbing his back.

     It wasn’t okay. Jaemin remembered everything from the night before. He scrambled to his feet. 

     “I gotta, I….I gotta go.”

     Yuta put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. “Woah, hold on. You don’t look good. Come sit down, I’ll make you some tea, does that sound okay?”

     Jaemin was too tired to argue. He let the other boy lead him into the kitchen and sit him down at the table. He watched Yuta as he began brewing a pot of tea.

     Something strange and foreign was happening with their friend group. It all started after the fight with Johnny and Ten, who were stuck in detention with each other for the rest of the year. Since then, Johnny had been a lot quieter, and wasn’t picking fights with Ten or his friends anymore. At first Jaemin had thought that was only due to him getting in trouble, but he noticed that Johnny’s whole demeanor had started to change. The few times that Jaemin had hung out with him, Johnny seemed more subdued and far less threatening, except for when he cornered Jaemin one day at his locker the week after the ‘incident’.

     “Hey, listen.” Johnny had appeared out of nowhere, causing Jaemin to startle and drop his phone.

     “Johnny, what the f- ”

     “Stop going after Jeno.”

     Jaemin blinked. “Huh? How come?”

     “Just knock it off, kid. We need to leave them all alone for a bit.” Johnny sounded annoyed.

     “Just because you fought with Ten doesn’t mean th- ”

     Jaemin was cut off as Johnny grabbed ahold of the front of his shirt and shoved him into the lockers behind him. “Jaemin, quit being a dick, you punk ass bitch. Just do what I fucking say, you hear me?”

     Jaemin nodded. The older boy let go of his shirt.

     It wasn’t just Johnny. Yuta had definitely softened up a bit, and it was clear that something had shook him up after that Friday afternoon. Jaemin actually had barely seen him since then. Lucas kept making excuses not to hang out with them. Even Mark was on his best behavior, avoiding Haechan in gym and telling the others to too. It was all very odd.

     His attention went back to Yuta. The older boy poured the tea into two large mugs and added a spoonful of honey to each. He placed the mugs on the table and sat down opposite Jaemin. He looked exhausted.

     Jaemin took the tea with a nod of thanks. It was some sort of lavender brew, and the honey soothed his raw throat once it had cooled down enough to drink. It was something that his mom would have made for him years ago when he was sick, back when she still payed attention to her son.

     Yuta was studying him carefully. “Jaemin, what happened last night? Are you okay?”

     Jaemin looked down into his mug. “No, I don’t think so.”

     Yuta’s eyes widened in surprise. Jaemin was known for being the most emotionally-repressed in their friend group. He had never admitted feeling anything other than fine. Jaemin couldn’t blame him for being shocked.

     He continued. “I did something really stupid and I think I hurt someone, even though I was trying to apologize. I really fucked up, Yuta.”

     The other boy nodded for him to keep going. Jaemin steeled himself.

     “I hate myself so much. All I do is hurt people. I don’t feel like I deserve to live with myself. How can I change myself and make it up to the people I’ve hurt? They deserve to see me dead after what I’ve done to them. How else can they know that I won’t do this again?” Jaemin felt angry hot tears start to pool in his eyes. He wiped them away with his sweater sleeve. “I don’t want to live like this.”

     He grit his teeth as the tears began to flow, not being able to hold them back for any longer. He kept wiping his face, trying to collect himself. To his shock, Yuta stood up and pulled his chair over next to Jaemin’s. He sat back down and enveloped him in a tight hug. At first, Jaemin was too stunned to do anything. Then he burst into sobs.

     Yuta sat there and held him as he cried, saying nothing. It was a comfortable silence, though - the kind where things don’t necessarily need to be said out loud to be understood. When his sobs ceased into hiccups and sniffles, Yuta got up to get him a box of tissues. He blew his nose and dried his face unceremoniously.

     “I’m….sorry you had to see that.” 

     Yuta shook his head, smiling gently. “Don’t apologize, kid. It’s okay.” His smile fell a bit. “Jaemin, when I took you home last night, I saw the scars on your arm.”

     Jaemin’s blood ran cold.

     Before he could say anything, Yuta continued. “I’m not going to tell anyone, don’t worry. But I think you gotta talk to someone about it. Even if it’s one of the others. I don’t think I’m the right person to go to for this stuff.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t really know how to deal with my anger either. But maybe someone else does.”

     Jaemin nodded, his head still spinning. 

     Yuta clapped him on the shoulder and brought their empty mugs to the sink. “It’s going to be okay, Jaemin. You’re going to be okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yuta DOES have a soft side i promise LMAO 
> 
> it is really interesting to write characters who are genuinely awful at first and then have them change over time in a realistic manner like its very difficult because im trying not to rush things but i also dont want to bore yall so let me know how u guys feel about this and how quickly you want this to go by! and as usual if u have any requests or ideas for anything particular let me know!! <3


	12. Back To The Old House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! this chapter was really hard to write and there's a huge tw for misgendering, transphobic language, and homophobic slurs, and violence/parent abuse towards the end. be good and take care of urselves xo

     When Johnny was handed back his history test face-up for the first time, he knew that was a good sign. However, he didn’t expect to see the large “89% - Great job!” written in red pen at the top. He nearly cried out in excitement before remembering that he was still in class. He craned his neck to look for the familiar back of Ten’s head a few rows ahead of him. The boy wasn’t turning around, so Johnny crumpled up a piece of notebook paper and threw it at him. Ten turned around with a look that clearly said  _ Johnny Seo I swear to god if you try to fuck with me one more time I will cut your balls off and feed them to my dog. _

     Johnny ignored this and held up his exam, showing off his high score. Ten’s face brightened into a smile for a brief moment, but then it vanished as quickly as it came. He then simply nodded at Johnny and turned back around.

_      What the hell _ , Johnny thought.  _ Maybe he got a bad grade _ .

     After class got out, Johnny followed Ten to his locker. It seemed like the boy was trying to avoid him. “Hey, thank you for helping me st- ”

     “Mhm,” Ten interrupted, throwing a few things into his backpack and slamming his locker shut. He started to walk away, but Johnny darted to stand in front of him, blocking the way. “Ten, just wait a second!”

     “No!” Ten’s sharp voice cut through him. “Stop this, Seo. I don’t know what’s come over you and why you’ve suddenly had a change of heart, but we can’t just start acting like friends. That’s not fair to me, and you clearly have your own shit to deal with before you can even dream of me ever forgiving you.”

     Johnny knew that Ten was right, but anger laced his response. “Well, what do you fucking want me t- ”

     Instead of answering, Ten walked around Johnny, knocking into his shoulder as he passed by him. “I’ll see you in detention, Seo.”

 

     The next period seemed to drag on for forever, but finally it let out and Johnny walked down to the detention room. Ten was already there, sitting in his usual seat. He didn’t look up when Johnny sat down next to him.

     This time, they were the only ones in the room, except for Mr. Kim, who was grading papers at his desk. Johnny pulled out his binder and tried to start afresh. “As long as I do okay on the final paper and pass the final exam, I should be fine for history. How did you do on the test?”

     Ten still didn’t look up. “Fine. Now fuck off.”

     Johnny opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. “Okay.”

     He went back to his work, not noticing Ten looking up in surprise.

     They both finished their homework within an hour, and Mr. Kim set them free. They walked to the front entrance together only to see that it was raining heavily. 

     Ten groaned to himself and leaned back against the door. “Fuck, I rode my bike today.”

     “I can give you a ride if you want,” mumbled Johnny. He would rather eat his own foot, but he figured it would make the lady at the main office happy to see him being a good samaritan for once.

     Ten sniffed at him. “Yeah, I don’t think so, Seo.”

     “It’s pouring out.”

     “I’d rather deal with that any day over accepting a ride from you. I’ll just wait for it to clear up.”

     “Suit yourself, faggot.” The slur rolled off of his tongue and Johnny reached into his leather jacket pocket for his car keys. He came up empty.

     “Shit, I forgot that my dad took my truck into the shop today. Something wrong with the brakes.”

     “Damn, what a shame. Bet you wished someone cared.”

     Johnny turned on him. “Get off my ass, Ten. Just because you helped me with one stupid test doesn’t mean I’m going to take shit from you.”

     “Yeah, and just because you fucking pulled a knife on me doesn’t mean I have to let you keep ruining my life, Seo.” Ten’s eyes flashed dangerously. Even though the boy was wearing a pastel pink crop top, joggers that only emphasized his shortness, and a goddamn  _ choker _ , he still looked intimidating. Johnny huffed. “Whatever. I’m going to go call my dad.”

     Johnny’s dad was  _ not _ in a good mood when he picked up the phone, and Johnny was starting to regret calling him in the first place. After a slew of curse words and profanities, he agreed to come pick up his son. Johnny walked back over to the entrance where Ten was standing. He was now soaking wet, as if he had been running outside. He was biting his nails anxiously.

     “Where the fuck did you go?” Johnny asked.

     Ten glared at him. “Some dipshit stole my bike. Both of my parents are working tonight. I know I told you that I would rather die, I would  _ literally _ rather throw myself into the ocean than to ask you this, but could you drop me off on your way home?”

     Johnny was tempted to say no, just to give the boy a hard time, but he felt the watchful eyes of the office receptionist on him, and nodded reluctantly. He led Ten outside to his dad’s car once he had pulled up in front of the school. He jumped into the passenger seat, and Ten climbed into the back, sitting behind Johnny.

     Johnny’s dad wore a confused expression at first, glancing back and forth between the two of them. He looked Ten up and down a few times, then addressed Johnny. “So, this is that Thai chick that landed a few punches on you, eh?”

     Johnny shrugged, refusing to look behind him. Ten cleared his throat from the backseat. “Um, I’m a guy, sir.”

     Johnny’s dad began the drive into town. “Sure doesn’t look that way to me, young lady. Lucky for you I don’t hit girls, or I would have beaten you to a pulp on sight.”

     “I’m just going to walk home. You can drop me off right here.”

     His dad locked the car doors. “Nonsense, it’s no trouble. Besides, I’ve been meaning to finally meet you. Isn’t she in your history class, John?”

     Johnny’s ears burned. He was stuck in an extremely uncomfortable situation. Ten was his rival, but it wasn’t like he and his dad got along either. Ten was very clearly scared. He wanted to tell his dad to stop.

     Instead, he nodded. “Uh, y-yeah. History. Ten helped me study for the test on Monday.”

     “Did she?” his dad asked. “I didn’t think girls were any good at smart subjects.”

     “Not only is that not true, but I’m not a girl,” said Ten in a cool tone. “Take this next left up here.”

     Johnny’s dad took the turn and continued. “Jesus, Johnny. Are you really that weak that a little girl could punch a tooth outta you? What’d she do, flash her tits to distract you?”

     “ _ Dad _ ,” Johnny protested weakly. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

     “Hm? Why not, son? You had no problem telling your mom everything when she was here.”

     “ _ Stop it _ ,” Johnny hissed, his blood boiling. “Not right now.”

     “Up here on the right, the small white house with the red porch,” Ten interrupted. Johnny’s dad slammed a foot on the breaks. Ten tried to open the door to let himself out, but it was still locked. He looked over at Johnny, and he swore he saw a plea for help in Ten’s eyes. Johnny choked on his guilt and looked away. 

     His dad stretched in his seat and sighed deeply. “Alrighty, then. Listen up, young lady. Just so we’re clear, the next time I see you, I hope you’re in a body bag. Now get out of my  _ goddamn _ car.”

     The doors unlocked, and Ten scrambled to get out as fast as he could, not looking behind him. Johnny watched him rush up the stairs and into his house, and felt a dark, suffocating weight on his chest.

     Next to him, his dad pulled away from the curb and started driving home. The ride was silent, except for the crackle of his dad’s cigarette and Johnny’s brain screaming at him that something was very, very wrong, and that he did  _ not  _ handle that situation the right way.

 

     They pulled into the driveway and before Johnny could escape inside, something heavy collided with his back and sent him sprawling. When his eyes regained focus, his dad was holding a metal baseball bat above him. He reached down and grabbed a fistful of Johnny’s hair. 

     “You fucking scum of the earth….you think you can tell  _ me _ to stop talking? Tell  _ me _ what to do?” He threw Johnny’s head back into the ground and he gasped at the pain. His dad picked him up by the hair again.

     “You thought it would be okay to bring a fucking  _ queer _ into my car? What the fuck were you thinking?” Another push to the ground. Johnny briefly glimpsed something coming towards his face and he rolled, narrowly avoiding getting hit by the bat.

     “So? What have you got to say for yourself?” His dad was practically frothing at the mouth. Johnny stumbled to his feet, clutching his back.

     “I, just, didn’t want to c-cause any more trouble at s-school,” he rasped out. He tried to make a run for the door but his father was too quick, grabbing his arm and nearly twisting it out of its socket. He took ahold of the front of Johnny’s jacket and threw him against the side of his car. 

     “You know what I think, son? I think that you’re hiding something. I think you’ve been messing around with that bitch who thinks she’s a dude. Why’d you try to bring her home, huh?” Johnny’s face stung as his father slapped him roughly. He spit out a mouthful of blood.

     “He n-needed a fucking ride back to his house, that’s it!” Johnny yelled at him. Spit accidentally flew out of his mouth and onto his dad’s face. He looked at Johnny venomously.

     “You little- ” A fist flew into his face, and Johnny felt his nose crack. A flood of warmth ran down his face. He cradled his nose with both hands. “What the fuck?!”

     His dad sent a flurry of punches his way, and Johnny only managed to dodge a couple of them. He felt his lip split open and the skin on his forehead break. He needed to get out of there.

     He managed to stick a foot out and trip his dad, who stumbled and fell onto one knee. Johnny took the opportunity to race inside and barrel downstairs. He threw a couple pairs of clothes and his toiletries into a duffel bag, and as he ran back up the stairs, he swiped his car keys from the kitchen table. He heard his father’s footsteps coming from upstairs and flung the front door open.

     Johnny had just reached his truck and climbed in when he saw his dad running out of their house holding a gun, aimed at Johnny. He scrambled to get his keys into the ignition, but his hands were shaking and he dropped them. As he bent down to pick them up, he heard a loud ‘pop’ and the passenger side window shattered, glass raining down on his bags. He finally got the vehicle started and slammed his foot on the gas. The truck screamed out of the driveway and swerved onto the road, while another ‘pop’ sounded from behind him.

     He didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay we made it!! that's gonna be the last violent scene for this story, i wanted to give johnny a sort of wake up call about his piece of shit dad, and maybe he'll start to realize that his dad has taught him a lot of hateful beliefs that aren't true....we'll see tho cause people don't change overnight, and i want to make that clear. 
> 
> where do you think he's gonna do? what's he going to say to ten the next time he sees him? who do you want to see next? let me know in the comments xoxo


	13. These Things Take Time

     Winwin was confused. 

     Yuta had invited him over to his apartment after school, which was not uncommon, but it was their first time seeing each other since the incident. Nearly two weeks. Right now, they were sitting across from each other in the living room and Yuta, for once, was not prying his clothes off. Needless to say, it was strange.

     He took this time to look around the apartment. It was small, on the fourth floor of a dingy rental complex and with a bad rat problem. Winwin had learned from his occasional hookups with Yuta that his parents had kicked him out the year before for getting caught smoking in his bedroom. Apparently they were super against marijuana, which Yuta knew but thought they had left for the weekend. He had crashed at his friend Lucas’ house for a few weeks until he had saved up enough from work to rent out the shitty apartment.

     The walls were a bland off-white color and the carpeting smelled like a grandmother’s closet, but Yuta had done his best to decorate with what he could scavenge. He stole paper lanterns from the art studio, blankets and fake plants from the theater closet, a fire exit sign from the gymnasium, and he found old furniture from yard sales. The fire exit sign hung above the front door and cast an eerie red light once it got dark out, but Winwin actually liked it.

     He looked back at Yuta. The other boy was sitting cross-legged on the sofa and was fidgeting with his hands. Winwin was getting bored, and he stood up.

     “If you’re not going to screw me, I guess I’ll leave.” He had barely made it a few steps towards the exit sign when Yuta called after him. “Wait, Sicheng!”

     Winwin rolled his eyes in exasperation. “What, bitch? Is this about when I slapped you? I’d do it again in an instant. I don’t even know why I came here. Or why you even invited me over in the first place. What’s your fucking problem, man?”

     He didn’t realize he was yelling until he noticed how quiet the room was when he finished. Yuta was looking at him with wide, almost desperate eyes.

     “Sicheng, I want to apologize.”

     Winwin scoffed. “Yeah, sure. For what?”

     Yuta swallowed nervously but didn’t break eye contact. “For….” He waved his hands around. “All of this. Us.”

     Winwin actually laughed. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So that’s it, huh? You beat up my friends and fuck me until you get bored of me, and then feel bad about it. What a gentleman.”

     Yuta still didn’t look away, and his gaze was piercing. “I’m sorry for taking advantage of you. It wasn’t fair to you at all. I’m telling you this because I want to stop hurting you.”

     His expression was genuine, and Winwin sat back down, not sure of what to do. 

     Yuta continued carefully. “I don’t want you to accept my apology, because I haven’t done anything yet to prove that I’m sorry. I’ve been thinking a lot since everything happened.”

     “Wow, that must have been really hard. My condolences.” Despite the awkward situation, Winwin couldn’t help but be sarcastic. 

     Yuta cracked a smile, but immediately shook it off. “Yeah, yeah. I really have been thinking though. And I feel like I’ve been using you to cope, and I don’t like that. You deserve so much better than that.”

     Winwin felt an indescribable twinge in his chest. 

     “Like, don’t get me wrong, the sex is great. Really great.” To Winwin’s amusement, Yuta was actually  _ blushing _ . He stored the memory in his head for future blackmail.

     “But I think I have other stuff going on. I….I think I like you. Like, as more than just a hookup.” Yuta’s face was bright pink at that point, and he was staring very intently at a spot on the floor. 

     Winwin was not prepared for that answer. He half expected the other boy to laugh and admit it was a joke. But he didn’t.

     “So….you’re gay?”

     Yuta’s face blushed darker, but he was trying to hold back a smile. “This is the part where I open up about my tragic backstory and internalized homophobia to justify my behavior, right?”

     “You bastard,” Winwin laughed. Yuta finally gave in and laughed with him.

     “I know, I know, that’s what I’m trying to  _ not _ do. That’s why I don’t want you to forgive me. I want to prove to you that I’m serious about changing.” Yuta’s expression was earnest.

     Winwin sat there and processed everything that was happening. Yuta wasn’t trying to get him to forgive him, and he wasn’t trying to defend himself. Winwin didn’t know what, but something had changed in the other boy.

     “Where did this newfound sense of responsibility come from?” he asked.

     “I told you, I’ve had a lot of time to think,” Yuta responded. “I also had a talk with Jaemin this past weekend, and it made me realize that I wasn’t coping healthily. And if I’m being honest, the wheels started to turn after you slapped me.”

     Winwin snorted. “God, I should have done it sooner then.” He thought for a minute, then stood up and sat next to Yuta on the couch. The other boy stiffened as Winwin put his arm around him. 

     “I’m not going to slap you again, dumbass.”

     Yuta let out a nervous laugh. “Ha….yeah, I know. I just….don’t want you to feel pressured, or anything. To feel anything. Towards me.”

     Winwin squeezed his shoulder. “Hey, I know. I don’t. I believe you. Plus, like you said, the sex is really great.” He laughed as Yuta spluttered in panic.

     “Don’t do this to me, Sicheng. I want to take you out on a date first.”

     It was Winwin’s turn to be surprised. “What?”

     Yuta smiled gently. “Really. I want to start over. I mean, not like, forgetting what happened. But I want to start over with us.”

     Winwin felt his cheeks heat up, but before he could respond, there was a weak knock at the door. He looked at Yuta curiously. “Did you invite anyone else over?”

     Yuta’s brows were furrowed. “No, I didn’t.” He walked over to the door and peeked through the peephole, then rushed to open the door. In stumbled Johnny, holding a duffel bag and covered in blood. 

     “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know where else to go,” he gasped out. Yuta immediately grabbed him and half-dragged him to the kitchen table, plopping him down in a chair. “Sicheng, there’s a first aid kit in the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom. Can you get it for me?”

     Winwin darted to the bathroom and quickly found the kit, which he brought into the kitchen. Johnny did not look good. His face was a mass of swollen lumps and purple bruises. His nose looked broken, and the entire front of his face was covered in dried blood, which had dripped down onto his clothes. His hands were cut in multiple places. Yuta pulled the leather jacket off of him, leaving Johnny in just a blood-stained white t-shirt.

     Winwin wet a paper towel and began to clean off the dried blood from Johnny’s chin. Yuta soaked some disinfectant into a cotton ball and dabbed at Johnny’s forehead.  For the first time, the older boy looked vulnerable. He whined in pain.

     “Johnny, what the hell happened….” muttered Yuta, pushing his hair back so he could clean the rest of the boy’s forehead.

     Before Johnny could respond, Winwin interrupted. “It wasn’t Ten, was it?” He tried to make his voice as neutral as possible, but it still came out accusatory. 

     Johnny shook his head firmly. “No, no, it wasn’t him.” He took a deep, shuddering breath.

     “What’d your dad get pissed about this time?” Yuta asked quietly. Winwin got the feeling that this wasn’t the first time Johnny had shown up unannounced and beaten up.

     “He was mad becau- _ ah _ ….” He cried out as Winwin started to clean the area around his nose. “I had to give Ten a ride home after detention, because his bike got stolen and it was raining. My truck was in the shop all day so Dad had to pick me up. You know how he feels about….you know, transgenders.”

     “Transgender people,” Winwin corrected. “Not transgenders.”

     To his astonishment, Johnny actually apologized. “Oh, uh, sorry. I’ll say that from now on.”

     Winwin nodded. “Your dad….didn’t hurt Ten too, did he?”

     Johnny looked pained, and not just from his wounds. “No. He said some really bad things though.” He winced as Yuta applied some ointment to his split lip. 

     “We dropped Ten off and went home, and then he started hitting me. I can’t go back there. He shot at me while I was trying to leave. He blasted through one of my windows. He’ll fucking kill me.”

     Winwin couldn’t help but feel bad for him. Even though Johnny was a homophobic and transphobic piece of shit, he didn’t know if he deserved that. Then a thought hit him, and he looked at Yuta. If Johnny was so outwardly ignorant, then did he know about their relationship? What was he thinking when he walked in and saw Winwin there? Did he know that Yuta wasn’t straight?

     Yuta caught him staring, and gave him a look that read  _ later _ . 

     They finished patching up Johnny and sat him on the chair that Winwin had been sitting in earlier. After a moment’s hesitation, he joined Yuta on the couch again.

     By the time 15 minutes had passed, Johnny was passed out and snoring. 

     “Does he know?” Winwin dared to ask.

     Yuta sighed. “I have no idea. He might. He may look it, but he’s actually not that dumb.”

     Winwin snorted, but he couldn’t help but wonder why exactly Johnny was the way he was, and where the change in behavior had come from. 

     It was almost as if Yuta could read his mind. “I’m not really sure what’s going on either. I think a lot of us are starting to come to grips with reality. Question is, is it too late for us to change?”

     Winwin didn’t know the answer, but he felt comfort in Yuta’s hand on top of his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi im back! i finally got through my writer's block and finished this chapter after a full 24 hours of staring blankly at my computer. i also was able to sit down and outline how the rest of the story is going to go and im really excited to write it! there will be at least six more chapters :') let me know how ur liking it so far i want some #reviews


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